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Twolegplace: The FringesTue Aug 04, 2020 1:59 amMetzi
Estate Back FieldsTue Jul 28, 2020 7:11 amJack
The MooncaveMon Jul 13, 2020 12:06 pmMetzi
CHAPTER ONE ALLEGIANCESThu Apr 02, 2020 8:11 pmWillowstorm
DuskClan//FrostClan Border RiverThu Apr 02, 2020 7:45 pmFeather
Fire//Frost//Bright Mutual GroundMon Mar 30, 2020 1:06 pmLeopardspots
DuskClan | The SkytreesSun Mar 29, 2020 4:11 pmLeopardspots
WaterClan | CampSun Mar 29, 2020 4:01 pmJack
FrostClan | CampSun Mar 29, 2020 3:55 pmpicunicu
BrightClan | CampSun Mar 29, 2020 3:53 pmFeather
Clan Information
Season & Time of Day:
Green-leaf (Jun-Jul-Aug)
Mid-day (2-4 pm)
Chapter: One

Weather & News:
The intense Green-leaf sun bears down on the Clans in this, their darkest hour.
An earthquake has shaken the forest, destroying the territories as the Clans know it and killing dozens of cats. Forced to band together, the cats journey in search of a new home.

DuskClan

Leader: Robinstar (@Quake)
Deputies: Scorchthicket (@Feather)
Medicine cat: Tulipsnow (@Willowstorm)

Medicine apprentices:

FireClan

Leader: Finchstar (@Willowstorm)
Deputies: Floralight (@Jack)
Medicine cat: Tanglepath (@Leopardspots)
Medicine apprentices:

WaterClan

Leader: Sharkstar (@Willowstorm)
Deputies: Rosefeather (@Metzi)
Medicine cat: Autumnsky (@Feather)

Medicine apprentices: Sunshadow (@Jack), Peachpaw (@Daisyleap)

BrightClan

Leader: Stagstar (@Leopardspots)
Deputies: Cricketsong (@Daisy)
Medicine cat:
Medicine apprentices:

FrostClan

Leader: Poolstar (@Feather)
Deputies: Wolfwatcher (@Jack)
Medicine cat: Quartzshine (@Metzi)
Medicine apprentices:
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Shucklord
Shucklord
Posts : 31
Age : 20
Location : It depends...

Swiftclaw Empty Swiftclaw

Fri Feb 23, 2018 9:07 pm
Age: 13 moons
Gender: She-Cat 
Clan: Brightclan 
Rank: Warrior 

Appearance: She is a medium-haired cat. She has a light brown coat, Hazel eyes and Sharp claws. She has a sleek body and a Scar on her back-right leg. She is slightly smaller than average for her age.

Personality: Swiftclaw is shy and quiet. She is very loyal and does well with teamwork, although she finds it hard to trust others who are not close to her. She likes climbing trees because it gives her a good view of the surroundings and it acts as a retreat. She also enjoys hunting for her clan. She is not good at fighting because she strongly dislikes it and may even run if she somehow ends up in one. She has a low self-esteem because of this because she thinks of herself as someone who is defective. The one cat who won't fight. She looks up to her brother, even though he is clumsy.



Skills:
Fighting: 2
Hunting: 8
Climbing: 6
Running: 7
Swimming: 4
Strength: 4
Stamina: 6
Memory skills: 6

Dreams: Swiftclaw dreams of being a medicine cat because she gets to help the injured and sick, but won't have to fight anymore.

Family:
Mother: Autumnbark (living)
Father: Snakestrike (living, permanently injured)
Siblings: Brokenfang (Living, brother, @Orion)

History: Swiftclaw was traumatised when she witnessed a fight when she was only a kit. She saw countless cats die, and even got hurt herself, which caused a scar on hir back-right leg. But worst of all, she saw her Dad, Snakestrike fight another cat. He won, but he lost half his leg. Swiftclaw doesn't want to see this sort of pain happen again. From then on, she went from happy and playful to shy and quiet. As she grew older, she decided to find other ways to help the clan like hunting and keeping lookout for other cats in trees. She is now well known for her hunting skills throughout the clan, but also known as the one who hates to fight.


Last edited by Pkd163 on Sat Mar 10, 2018 6:41 pm; edited 3 times in total (Reason for editing : Taking feedback into account and adding a touch of magnificence.)
Davewing
Davewing
Forum Veteran
Forum Veteran
Posts : 17943
Age : 23
Location : at my computer

Swiftclaw Empty Re: Swiftclaw

Tue Feb 27, 2018 1:34 pm
I am sorry for the wait. The site is pretty slow right now because of school. You're audition is looking pretty good, but there are a couple things I'd like to point out.

The first I see is the personality. We like a couple "negative" characteristics, along with the "positive" ones. I see shy, quiet, loyal, and that she dislikes fights. I would add more onto her personality to make her seem more unique, if that makes sense. Both in the positive, and negative way.

Another thing about the personality, is the comment on tree climbing. BrightClan is known for it's moorland, like WindClan. So that would also go for the skills as well. I suggest that if you are making a BrightClan cat, that you lower the climbing skill. It just makes it more realistic, and so that it matches the Clan.

Please write out the appearance in full sentences. Other than those few things, I think it is a very good audition. Please edit, and post telling us when you are done.
Shucklord
Shucklord
Posts : 31
Age : 20
Location : It depends...

Swiftclaw Empty #bump

Tue Feb 27, 2018 10:41 pm
Pkd163 wrote:(REMOVED)


Last edited by Pkd163 on Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:20 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Obvious reasons)
Daisyleap
Daisyleap
Forum Overseer
Forum Overseer
Posts : 6537
Age : 19

Swiftclaw Empty Re: Swiftclaw

Wed Feb 28, 2018 3:08 pm
Please, stop double posting. It is spamming the topic and against the rules. You have to understand that we have lives outside of the site and cannot check auditions immediately after you post them.

Before I can say anything about the audition, please edit your original topic with the edited information instead of quoting it.
Shucklord
Shucklord
Posts : 31
Age : 20
Location : It depends...

Swiftclaw Empty Re: Swiftclaw

Wed Feb 28, 2018 7:22 pm
I only double posted once. I am new here and I had forgotten to comment was to scroll down. I was told that if I commented on this enough, it would annoy Aquastar and she would check it.
Willowstorm
Willowstorm
Head Admin/Creator
Head Admin/Creator
Posts : 16423
Age : 25
Location : Hobbiton

Swiftclaw Empty Re: Swiftclaw

Thu Mar 01, 2018 8:00 am
@Pkd163 you will be banned for three days if you continue to be rude and disrespectful of the moderators and administrators. I’m aware Lily told you such things, but please refrain from annoying the staff.
Shucklord
Shucklord
Posts : 31
Age : 20
Location : It depends...

Swiftclaw Empty Re: Swiftclaw

Sun Mar 04, 2018 8:37 pm
I understand. I will wait.
Shucklord
Shucklord
Posts : 31
Age : 20
Location : It depends...

Swiftclaw Empty Re: Swiftclaw

Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:27 pm
I HAVE IMPROVED IT!!!! I SAW OTHER CATS AS EXAMPLES!
Shucklord
Shucklord
Posts : 31
Age : 20
Location : It depends...

Swiftclaw Empty Re: Swiftclaw

Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:27 pm
But don't worry, I didn't plagiarise.
Willowstorm
Willowstorm
Head Admin/Creator
Head Admin/Creator
Posts : 16423
Age : 25
Location : Hobbiton

Swiftclaw Empty Re: Swiftclaw

Mon Mar 05, 2018 12:10 pm
@Pkd163 this is your final warning. Posting multiple times and not letting anyone reply is an example of spamming, and you will be banned if you continue to do so. Is that clear?
Shucklord
Shucklord
Posts : 31
Age : 20
Location : It depends...

Swiftclaw Empty Re: Swiftclaw

Mon Mar 05, 2018 7:19 pm
It is clear. I will make sure that I put more thought into my comments so I can put all essential information into it so I don't have to post again.
Aquastar
Aquastar
Audition Instructor
Audition Instructor
Posts : 4828
Age : 19
Location : California

Swiftclaw Empty Re: Swiftclaw

Mon Mar 05, 2018 7:54 pm
Or you can also pm a mod or admin when you are finished instead of posting
Shucklord
Shucklord
Posts : 31
Age : 20
Location : It depends...

Swiftclaw Empty Re: Swiftclaw

Mon Mar 05, 2018 7:57 pm
How do I do that? What is a pm? I am sorry. I am still a bit new here.
Davewing
Davewing
Forum Veteran
Forum Veteran
Posts : 17943
Age : 23
Location : at my computer

Swiftclaw Empty Re: Swiftclaw

Sat Mar 10, 2018 5:53 pm
I'm sorry for another late reply. A pm stands for private message. At the top of the site, you should be able to see a private messaging tab that will let you talk to any member of the site individually. 

I think you're audition is looking pretty good. One last thing though, is that you should lower one of your skills. Either hunting, running, or memory. On this site we like it when you have only 2 skills ranging from level 7-10. If you lower one of the 7's it would help.
Shucklord
Shucklord
Posts : 31
Age : 20
Location : It depends...

Swiftclaw Empty Re: Swiftclaw

Sat Mar 10, 2018 6:42 pm
Ok, how is this? I have used your advice
Davewing
Davewing
Forum Veteran
Forum Veteran
Posts : 17943
Age : 23
Location : at my computer

Swiftclaw Empty Re: Swiftclaw

Sun Mar 11, 2018 5:56 pm
audition accepted
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Swiftclaw Empty Re: Swiftclaw

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