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SushiWonderful Supporter
- Posts : 601
Age : 18
Location : victoria, australia
Jadepaw of Duskclan | adopts
Sun Feb 05, 2017 7:44 pm
_________________________________________________
b a s i c s
name ;Jadekit ~ Jadepaw ~ Jadespirit
age ; 7 Moons
gender ; She
clan ; Duskclan
rank ; Apprentice
description ; Jadepaw has Slick Greyish-Black Short Fur with Light Green Eyes.She has long whiskers,unlike her sibling's. She also has a Normal-ish tail,She has a normal weight and height. She has a grey-black nose that is invisible due to her pelt.
skills ; out of ten
Fighting - 6
Hunting - 4
Climbing - 3
Running - 6
Swimming - 3
Strength - 8
Memory skills - 3
Stamina - 2
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b e h i n d t h e c a t
personality ; Jadepaw is a short-tempered cat, who is obnoxiously loyal to her Clan since she is half-BrightClan. She hates when cats call her names,or others in general. She stands up for cats that she thinks are in the right,although this can get her in huge trouble. She gets in trouble alot, due to her being slightly ignorant.
history ; Crystalflicker met Firepelt at a gathering,It was love at first site After the gathering,They desided to met up,After abit Crystalflicker fell pregnate,Firepelt was overjoyed.Jadepaw,Lapispaw,Topazpaw and Sapphirepaw were born at some crystal,which is what gave them there names .But they where half-clan,So the kits were split up. Topazpaw,Lapispaw & Jadepaw went stayed in duskclan,and Sapphirepaw went to Brightclan. Jadepaw was a popular kit, Liked by most.
b a s i c s
name ;
age ; 7 Moons
gender ; She
clan ; Duskclan
rank ; Apprentice
description ; Jadepaw has Slick Greyish-Black Short Fur with Light Green Eyes.She has long whiskers,unlike her sibling's. She also has a Normal-ish tail,She has a normal weight and height. She has a grey-black nose that is invisible due to her pelt.
skills ; out of ten
Fighting - 6
Hunting - 4
Climbing - 3
Running - 6
Swimming - 3
Strength - 8
Memory skills - 3
Stamina - 2
_________________________________________________
b e h i n d t h e c a t
personality ; Jadepaw is a short-tempered cat, who is obnoxiously loyal to her Clan since she is half-BrightClan. She hates when cats call her names,or others in general. She stands up for cats that she thinks are in the right,although this can get her in huge trouble. She gets in trouble alot, due to her being slightly ignorant.
history ; Crystalflicker met Firepelt at a gathering,It was love at first site After the gathering,They desided to met up,After abit Crystalflicker fell pregnate,Firepelt was overjoyed.Jadepaw,Lapispaw,Topazpaw and Sapphirepaw were born at some crystal,which is what gave them there names .But they where half-clan,So the kits were split up. Topazpaw,Lapispaw & Jadepaw went stayed in duskclan,and Sapphirepaw went to Brightclan. Jadepaw was a popular kit, Liked by most.
_________________________________________________
r o m a n t i c s
crush ; Ivypaw
mate ; idek
kits ; no
kin ; Grandma - Blossompetal (Alive,Open {Pinkish White Cat + Brown eyes})
Grandpa - Ravenwing (Alive,Open {Black + green eyes})
Nan - Bluefur (Alive,Open {Bluestar's pelt + eyes})
Pop - Frostlily (Dead {Was Brightclan,Course of Death = Old Age})
Mother - Crystalflicker (Alive,@/Daisyleap {Crystal white + fair blue eyes})
Father - Firepelt (Alive,Open {Firestar pelt + Green eyes})
Step Mother - Lilyfall (Dead {Course Of Death = Fox}
Littermates/siblings - Abysswind (Alive,Open {Black pelt + amber eyes}) Topazpaw (Alive,@/Aquastar) Lapizpaw (Alive,@/Ravenwing) Sapphirepaw (Alive,@/Oceansong)
_________________________________________________
m i s c.
sexuality ; Gay/Lesbain
Favourite Prey ; Rat
Favourite Season ; Leaf-Bare
Favourite scent ; Duskclan
Zodiac ; Virgo (24/8/16)
________________________
r o m a n t i c s
crush ; Ivypaw
mate ; idek
kits ; no
kin ; Grandma - Blossompetal (Alive,Open {Pinkish White Cat + Brown eyes})
Grandpa - Ravenwing (Alive,Open {Black + green eyes})
Nan - Bluefur (Alive,Open {Bluestar's pelt + eyes})
Pop - Frostlily (Dead {Was Brightclan,Course of Death = Old Age})
Mother - Crystalflicker (Alive,@/Daisyleap {Crystal white + fair blue eyes})
Father - Firepelt (Alive,Open {Firestar pelt + Green eyes})
Step Mother - Lilyfall (Dead {Course Of Death = Fox}
Littermates/siblings - Abysswind (Alive,Open {Black pelt + amber eyes}) Topazpaw (Alive,@/Aquastar) Lapizpaw (Alive,@/Ravenwing) Sapphirepaw (Alive,@/Oceansong)
_________________________________________________
m i s c.
sexuality ; Gay/Lesbain
Favourite Prey ; Rat
Favourite Season ; Leaf-Bare
Favourite scent ; Duskclan
Zodiac ; Virgo (24/8/16)
________________________
- SushiWonderful Supporter
- Posts : 601
Age : 18
Location : victoria, australia
Re: Jadepaw of Duskclan | adopts
Thu Feb 09, 2017 9:06 pm
Done
WillowstormHead Admin/Creator
- Posts : 16423
Age : 25
Location : Hobbiton
Re: Jadepaw of Duskclan | adopts
Thu Feb 09, 2017 9:10 pm
Her height and weight are way off. if you've just copied and pasted that from another site you could be banned.
If her strength is an 8, why is her fighting so low? Surely it would make her a better climber, and her stamina would be higher too.
Her personality also needs to be much longer.
If her strength is an 8, why is her fighting so low? Surely it would make her a better climber, and her stamina would be higher too.
Her personality also needs to be much longer.
- SushiWonderful Supporter
- Posts : 601
Age : 18
Location : victoria, australia
Re: Jadepaw of Duskclan | adopts
Thu Feb 09, 2017 9:14 pm
The only thing i got is the bmi,and thats the only way i can really get it and changed/Willowpoppy wrote:Her height and weight are way off. if you've just copied and pasted that from another site you could be banned.
If her strength is an 8, why is her fighting so low? Surely it would make her a better climber, and her stamina would be higher too.
Her personality also needs to be much longer.
changed
added
- WillowstormHead Admin/Creator
- Posts : 16423
Age : 25
Location : Hobbiton
Re: Jadepaw of Duskclan | adopts
Thu Feb 09, 2017 9:18 pm
I think you forget that these are cats, not people.
- SushiWonderful Supporter
- Posts : 601
Age : 18
Location : victoria, australia
Re: Jadepaw of Duskclan | adopts
Thu Feb 09, 2017 9:19 pm
ill change it then@/Willowpoppy wrote:I think you forget that these are cats, not people.
- WillowstormHead Admin/Creator
- Posts : 16423
Age : 25
Location : Hobbiton
Re: Jadepaw of Duskclan | adopts
Thu Feb 09, 2017 9:26 pm
I feel like her personality could still use more.
The height/weight thing isn't necessary because we kind of assume they're cat-sized. The measurements you put in are for humans. You could just say she's 'small for her age' or 'dainty' or something like that
The height/weight thing isn't necessary because we kind of assume they're cat-sized. The measurements you put in are for humans. You could just say she's 'small for her age' or 'dainty' or something like that
- SushiWonderful Supporter
- Posts : 601
Age : 18
Location : victoria, australia
Re: Jadepaw of Duskclan | adopts
Thu Feb 09, 2017 9:38 pm
Fixed Both@/Willowpoppy wrote:I feel like her personality could still use more.
The height/weight thing isn't necessary because we kind of assume they're cat-sized. The measurements you put in are for humans. You could just say she's 'small for her age' or 'dainty' or something like that
- SushiWonderful Supporter
- Posts : 601
Age : 18
Location : victoria, australia
Re: Jadepaw of Duskclan | adopts
Fri Feb 10, 2017 8:12 pm
nudgie
- WillowstormHead Admin/Creator
- Posts : 16423
Age : 25
Location : Hobbiton
Re: Jadepaw of Duskclan | adopts
Fri Feb 10, 2017 8:14 pm
I feel like the history should tell more of her parents meeting
also *Jadespirit? I'm assuming you don't mean Jadesprit lol
also *Jadespirit? I'm assuming you don't mean Jadesprit lol
- SushiWonderful Supporter
- Posts : 601
Age : 18
Location : victoria, australia
Re: Jadepaw of Duskclan | adopts
Fri Feb 10, 2017 8:30 pm
Fixed@/Willowpoppy wrote:I feel like the history should tell more of her parents meeting
also *Jadespirit? I'm assuming you don't mean Jadesprit lol
GuestGuest
Re: Jadepaw of Duskclan | adopts
Fri Feb 10, 2017 10:01 pm
' Add a bit more appearance.
'
' Explain a bit more about her being a kit without her mother. Who took care of her? Or did her mother take care of? You added she was separated so it's unclear.
Otherwise she's looking good! (:
'
Please fix this sentence in the history, you got some spelling errors and I don't know what's happening because of them.Sushi wrote:Jadepaw,Lapispaw,Topazpaw and Sapphirepaw were born at some crystal witch
' Explain a bit more about her being a kit without her mother. Who took care of her? Or did her mother take care of? You added she was separated so it's unclear.
Otherwise she's looking good! (:
- SushiWonderful Supporter
- Posts : 601
Age : 18
Location : victoria, australia
Re: Jadepaw of Duskclan | adopts
Fri Feb 10, 2017 10:05 pm
Skybeans wrote:' Add a bit more appearance. okie
'Please fix this sentence in the history, you got some spelling errors and I don't know what's happening because of them. fixedSush wrote:Jadepaw,Lapispaw,Topazpaw and Sapphirepaw were born at some crystal witch
' Explain a bit more about her being a kit without her mother. Who took care of her? Or did her mother take care of? You added she was separated so it's unclear. - Her mum is duskclan as said in her family.
Otherwise she's looking good! (:
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