Ravenpaw :: apprentice of DuskClan

Name: Ravenpaw (warrior: Ravenclaw)
Age: 7 moons
Gender: she-cat
Rank: apprentice
Clan: DuskClan

Appearance: Deep black she-cat with dark grey paws and light tabby stripes on her legs, face, and tail. her eyes are a dark shade of blue. She is slightly smaller than most apprentices the same age as her.

Personality: she is stubborn and is kind of disobedient (she got her stubbornness from her father). Since she is small she tries to make up for it by acting out and tries to act older than she is. But no matter how stubborn or how much she acts out, she always pays attention to her mentor and respects the Medicine cats (and their apprentices), the Deputies, and the Leader of DuskClan.

Skills: (out of 10)
Fighting - 6
Hunting - 6
Climbing - 4
Running - 5
Swimming - 3
Strength - 5
Memory skills - 5

Family:
Mother - Blackfoot
Father - Duskleap
Brothers - Hailpaw (dead), Wolfstorm

History: When Ravenpaw was a kit she remembered going to the elders to listen to their stories and heard that FrostClan and WaterClan had attacked the BrightClan camp, at the time she was excited that something exciting was going on. she really wanted to go and see what happened, but before she could leave her mother caught her and brought her back to the nursery,where her mother told her that sometimes the forest can be dangious for a small kit. She nodded and curled up with her mother, talking about what she found out, her mother was always one to listen to ravenpaw's gossip, and when she was a kit, she loved to report back to her mother with more news, stories, or just plain gossip. Her father, though, didnt like all the gossip and stories, he would rather be out hunting all day, even if it meant he rarely got to see his kit. One day when ravenpaw was a young apprentice, her brother, Hailpaw was found dead at the bottom of a cliff, he had fallen while chasing a rabbit. when they brought back his body, Ravenpaw stayed with him the whole night, wishing he was still alive. In the morning her older brother, Wolfstorm, nudged her awake and said that the elders had to take Hailpaw's body away. Even though Wolfstorm had tried to comfort her and help her to get over Hailpaw's death, it didnt work. For a few days after her brother's death, she was quiet and she wanted to lay in her nest all day. But soon after those few days of depression, she had to train and get to being a warrior so she can try and save other cats she hold dear, from dying.

This is a great audition, but it needs a little tweak in the history before it can be accepted. Since her family says Hailpaw is dead, could you include her/his death in the history and how Ravenpaw reacted to it? Also, maybe add how she interacted with her parents, and older brother Wolfstorm.

Better? ^~^

Much better!