Which Clan is better?
- GuestGuest
Heatherbreeze of FrostClan
Age: 12 moons
Gender: She-cat
Rank: Warrior
Clan: FrostClan
-----------------------------
Appearance: A lean but hard-muscled white she-cat with gold and golden-brown speckles, eartips, toes, chin, and tailtip. She has one pale amber eye and one heather-blue eye.
-------------------------------
Personality:
Skills:
Fighting - 6/10
Hunting - 8/10
Climbing - 7/10
Running - 10/10
Swimming - 4/10
Strength - 7/10
Memory skills - 6/10
------------------------------
Family:
Mother - Iceeyes (Black tabby she-cat with lighter gray stripes, soft but short fur, and ice- blue eyes)
Father - Thorntuft (A lean, light brown tom with spiky but soft fur that sticks out in tufts and amber eyes)
Littermates/siblings - Cedarkit (Dark red-brown tom with soft and scruffy fur and light- blue eyes)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
History: Heatherkit and Cedarkit were born to Iceeyes and Thorntuft. Cedarkit was weak, however, and died shortly after opening his eyes. Heatherkit grew up without a brother and felt left out from many of FrostClan's kit's games. Whenever she felt sad, she would sneak out of camp and find a moor-land to run, the wind blowing all her troubles away. The day before Heatherkit was to become an apprentice, a badger attacked camp, Iceeyes and severely crippling Thorntuft. When Heatherkit became an apprentice, she would often care for her father, who had decided to help the queens with the kits since he couldn't fight. Heatherpaw and Thorntuft would play with the kits and give them badger-rides. One day, a group of rouges attacked FrostClan and kidnapped an apprentice from camp. Heatherpaw fought viciously to protect her friend, but to no avail. Sympathetic for Heatherpaw, the leader gave her her warrior name, Heatherbreeze. One day, while on the moor Heatherbreeze used to go to, she stumbled across a Rouge, who turned out to be the apprentice that had been kidnapped! He had gave himself his own warrior name since he had been taken as an apprentice. The two fell in love.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Personality: A very peppy and friendly she-cat who is always ready to lend a paw. She loves running and is very fast. Matching her running skills, she talks very fast and she often has cats tell her to slow down. She can always be trusted to keep a secret and is very loyal to her Clan. She is trusting and sometimes that can be a flaw, as she sometimes cannot judge who to trust. She can come off as annoying to introverted cats because she will always try to talk to them and become friends, even if they don't want to. She will do anything to get on your good side, and will often catch thrushes to give as gifts. She doesn't like violence most of the time, but will fight for the ones she loves.
- SpottedleafForum Veteran
- Posts : 13960
Age : 15
Location : Messing with Shadow's language settings!
Re: Heatherbreeze of FrostClan
1. when you add to your post be sure to use the edit button in the top right hand corner of your post.
2. your character needs a personality. Is your character shy, energetic, friendly etc. this needs to be in sentence form.
Also your skills are a little high. your cat can't be good at everything. I'm going to leave you with this for now, but if you have any questions just ask.
- WillowstormHead Admin/Creator
- Posts : 16423
Age : 25
Location : Hobbiton
Re: Heatherbreeze of FrostClan
- GuestGuest
Re: Heatherbreeze of FrostClan
I know, the story is that she would sneak in, her fur blending in with the heather on the moorlands, unnoticed by the warriors of DuskClan.
- WillowstormHead Admin/Creator
- Posts : 16423
Age : 25
Location : Hobbiton
Re: Heatherbreeze of FrostClan
- GuestGuest
Re: Heatherbreeze of FrostClan
- WillowstormHead Admin/Creator
- Posts : 16423
Age : 25
Location : Hobbiton
Re: Heatherbreeze of FrostClan
Her appearance needs more than just her fur colour; is she sleek and skinny? or larger and muscular? Tall? short? Chubby? those sorts of things.
Her personality could also use a little more. Often we write the personalities as if your character is a main person in a story, are they helpful and friendly? grumpy and annoying? Here we also add our character's flaws, like worrying about others more than themselves, or vice versa.
I will repeat what Spot said about the skills. We only allow 3 skills above or equal to 7, and two of those can't both be hunting and fighting. She needs to have one thing she's quite bad at, and at least one other thing below 5.
|
|