Blackpaw

Name : Blackpaw
Age : 7 moons
Gender : Tom
Rank : Apprentice
Mentor : Rowantail
Apperance : He's a light shade of black, but not concidered gray. His tail is striped with white an gray, and the tip of his tail is black. He has gray socks, and white toes. He has a scar over his right eye, and a gray muzzle. His ears are white, and his neck/stomach is gray-blue (Bluestar's coat colour) He's also very tall and slim, his fur is also always messy. His eyes are amber and light blue.
Personality : He's stubborn, a snob, and hates being insulted. He always wants to train to become stronger, and there's almost never a time when he can smile. Even though that might happen, he is loyal and selfless, willing to give up his life for those he loves. Since his father and littermates died, it left a dent. He is always a target for she-cats (If you know what I mean) and he loves teasing the cats who don't agree with him. He's one of the best apprentices in his den. However, in his heart there is a place of peace and if you know where to look, he can be one of the best cats in the clan
Skills :
Bite : 5/10 - He has strong jaws, that can pierce through any fur/skin.
Claw : 3/10 - His claws are a little bit dull(Ok a lot)
Hunting : 8/10 - First he claws his prey, then severs it's head with his teeth.
Legs (e.g. Running, jumping, swimming) : 6/10 - He inherreted his father's strong legs
Overall : 22/40 - He's great at hunting and fighting, but he has wits too.
Family : Mother-Redfeather|Father-Darkclaw(dead)|Brother-Flintkit|Two sisters-Gorsekit,Rattail
History : Darkpaw(Claw) was going on patrol with Redpaw(Feather) and like every normal couple would do; Darkpaw tripped, and fell over Redpaw. That was just the start of it. Before that, Redpaw was Darkpaw's best friend, so thats how they met i guess. When he was born, he was a part of their second litter. In a tragic accident, all of their third litter, execpt for Flintkit, were eaten by foxes. (Cause why not ) Rattail went missing, and Darkclaw died in an accident with a badger. (Wats with all of these giant animals?) Blackpaw's mother tells him to smile, but he clings on to their deaths and wants revenge.

(NOT MY AUDITION)

He can only have one good skill when you lay it out like that.

His personality is also a bit 2D... it's basically saying he's mean.

That better?

Personality is still a bit flat, making it longer doesn't make it less 2D lol.

Is that better?

I can't really change it more