Shallowkit (Of Fire Clan) (apprentice/future warrior)

Thu Aug 17, 2017 5:07 am

NAME:

Kit Name: Shallowkit

Apprentice Name: Shallowpaw

Warrior Name: Shallowwater
Age: 1 moon

Gender: Female

Rank: Kit (future apprentice/warrior)

Clan: FireClan

Appearance: Shallowkit is a light grey tabby with light blue eyes. She has very short light grey hair. She is slightly chubby kitten with short limbs and a long grey striped tail.

Personality: She is loyal to her clan. She is outgoing and fearless. She however can be a bit stubborn but overall is a kind hearted cat that likes to be respectful to elders and those who are wiser than her but the is only on the outside and is what other cats perceive her as being like . On the inside however, she is very playful and likes to make jokes about other clans cats and kits even though she knows she should not make jokes she does it anyway. She is free spirited and fun loving and all in all just a happy kit.

Skills:

Fighting- 5

Hunting- 8

Climbing- 2

Running- 4

Stamina - 7

Memory- 9

Swimming- 5

Strength- 4

Family: Minnowlight (Mother) , Blossompaw (sister) (she-cat) , Russetpaw (brother) (tom) , Featherkit (sister) (she cat) Duststorm (father)

History:

Born into FireClan Shallowkit never knew a life that wasn't in the clan. She knows that

her mother wasn't a clan born cat but was a loner that eventually was accepted into the clan. Shallowkits father is a warrior for the FireClan , however Shallowkit doesn't know if she wants to go that way with her life. She is thinking about becoming a medicine cat for her clan so that way she can help her clan out without being involved in combat unless she really needs to be , however she is still a kit and sometimes plans change.

Thu Aug 17, 2017 5:14 am

This is a pretty good first audition. I do have a couple things I'd like you to edit before I accept it though. Please put both the apprentice and future warrior name on the audition, it makes it easier for us.

So, we like detail on this site, and it looks like both the appearance and personality is pretty short. For the appearance, think of more than just fur color and eyes. You can get a picture if that helps, or look to accepted auditions for ideas. But think of fur length, how big or small the character is, whisker length... things like that. And for personality, please write it out in full sentences. We like both good traits, and bad for each character to make them seem less "perfect".

And last thing I'm going to point out right now, is that you should write every name without a space. It is Shallowkit, not Shallow kit. If you have any questions, be sure to ask.

Thu Aug 17, 2017 5:42 am

Okay, so looking at the rest of your audition now. The history is a little hard to read, so if you could clean up some spelling errors that would be nice. And please write it as "FireClan". I would also like to point out that if this is being realistic, most Clans don't just accept a loner. They may accept a lost kit, but not a loner just because her mate is in the Clan.

Also, the personality is still short. Please look to other auditions for ideas if you need it! And the appearance could be given length by using multiple sentences. Also, please add the apprentice and warrior name onto the audition, like I have asked before.

Please try to fix all of these before telling me you are finished editing.

Thu Aug 17, 2017 6:30 am

Shallowkit (Of Fire Clan) (apprentice/future warrior)

Shallowkit (Of Fire Clan) (apprentice/future warrior)

Re: Shallowkit (Of Fire Clan) (apprentice/future warrior)

Re: Shallowkit (Of Fire Clan) (apprentice/future warrior)

Re: Shallowkit (Of Fire Clan) (apprentice/future warrior)

Re: Shallowkit (Of Fire Clan) (apprentice/future warrior)