Ravenwing //DuskClan// (Done)

Tue Jan 30, 2018 4:14 pm

Name: Ravenwing
Age: 20 moons
Gender: tom
Rank: Warrior

Clan: DuskClan

Appearance:
Ravenwing has a small but lithe build. His fur is pure black, which can make him almost invisible in the dark night. He has shining bright blue shaded eyes, and his claws are long and sharp. He has a long fluffy tail and small paws. His legs are short and he has a menacing put elegant walk to him.
Personality:
Ravenwing is a stubborn cat who would always second guess others. He is observant of his surroundings and others around him. He is loyal and would do anything for his clan. But he is insecure about his size and strength, which makes him anxious and jitty. He makes up for it though with his clever wit and fast thinking.
Skills: (out of 10)
Fighting - 5/10
Hunting - 4/10
Climbing - 3/10
Running - 6/10
Swimming - 1/10
Strength - 7/10

Stamina - 6/10
Memory skills - 3/10

Family:
Mother - Fallenleaf, deceased
Father - Hailstorm, deceased
Littermates/siblings - None

History:

Kithood:

Ravenkit was born in the dead of leaf-bare to a she-cat named Fallenleaf. His father Hailstorm was out hunting at that point. Fallenleaf licked the kitten's forehead. He was small. He was an only kitten. Meaning he had no littermates or siblings. The kitten would open his eyes. He would try to get up but fell every time. It wasn't until the next day when he finally started walking, he was slower at doing things than other kittens, but he eventually overcame that. He would play with the other kittens but he couldn't do the rough games. When he was an apprentice, though disaster struck.

Apprenticehood:

He became Ravenpaw. He trained as hard as he could, trying to get up his strength due to his size. But later in his Apprentice years, he found out his mother had died due to a sickness. His father was distant with him and he never saw him much. But he became a warrior and again, disaster struck.

Early Warrior life:

He became Ravenwing, and soon after he became a warrior he learned his father had died due to an accident. He didn't exactly know what happened, but the other cats said it had been a badger who took him by surprise. Ravenwing was sad, but not as sad as he was when his mother had died. He went on with his life but felt shaken. He was still small but always trained so his skills were sharp.

Sun Feb 04, 2018 5:43 am

This is a really good audition, but there are a couple small things that I'd like to point out.

The first I see is that the memory skill is pretty low. You don't see many characters with it that low, and I suggest that you raise it. Especially if you describe him as observant, fast-thinking, and clever. To me at least, this skill would go along with those traits.

Another small thing is that I'd like more explanation on how the father died. You say that it was from an accident, but that doesn't give much information.

Other than those two things, I think it looks good. Please post here once you've finished editing and someone will look it over again.

Tue Feb 06, 2018 8:39 am

Finished. I think the part about the father is foggy since Ravenwing doesn't exactly know, but he figures it was an accident.

Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:03 pm

The point of these auditions is to show the other RPers about the cats' life and who they are so they know how to interact with them when you first begin the RP, so we still need to know the details even though the character thinks its foggy. Which is why we like to give parents and siblings names too, even if the cat themself doesnt know what they are.

Wed Feb 07, 2018 11:36 am

Edited!

Wed Feb 07, 2018 8:07 pm

Ravenwing //DuskClan// (Done)

Ravenwing //DuskClan// (Done)

Re: Ravenwing //DuskClan// (Done)

Re: Ravenwing //DuskClan// (Done)

Re: Ravenwing //DuskClan// (Done)

Re: Ravenwing //DuskClan// (Done)

Re: Ravenwing //DuskClan// (Done)

Re: Ravenwing //DuskClan// (Done)